There are many parenting moments that I am happy to forget. Take how I started my day for instance. I woke up nose to nose with Ben telling me "I didn't pee mommy" which was exact the opposite of what actually happened. The truth was his Pjs were soaked up to his chest as was his bed. So, he had to be stripped and plunked in the bath and his bedding sent down the chute to be dealt with at a later, hopefully saner time. As I was doing that Jack started crying and both the girls were yelling from our bed "Mom, you didn't even cuddle with us yet!" Somehow I managed to get myself and everyone else dressed and fed and off to the girls gymnastics class followed by a doctor's appointment for Jack that we were nearly late for and then to the pharmacy after that. Judge if you must but I freely admit that I fed the kids Mcdonalds in their carseats for lunch while waiting on aforementioned prescription--albeit smoothies and yogurt with a few nuggets for Ben that I definitely cringed about.
Needless to say I felt I was due for a good parenting moment--one to savor, one for the parenting record books, one that makes all the other crazy ones worth it and I got it with my sweet Lydia tonight. We had our typical fun/chaotic dinner complete with ben taking a poop break in the middle and Lydia gagging on and nearly vomiting her broccoli--you know, standard weeknight dinner--then the typical bedtime rush and I was changing Jack with one hand and brushing teeth with the other--I am quite talented at multitasking I must say--then I handed the reins to Ryan for stories and bed while I rushed off to exercise class which I am almost embarrassed to admit that I adore and it keeps me sane in many ways. So, after my class as I was enjoying my shower I hear a tap, tap, tap on the shower door and it's little Lydia who can't sleep. Normally we are bedtime militants but in this instance I was happy to have a little one on one time with one of my munchkins (as you can imagine these times are rare with the stage we are in with our brood) so I cuddled up with Lydia in our bed for a little night chat. Let me give you some background on Miss Lydia Joy. She is my headstrong one, my assertive one, my I hate to lose or be last one, my "I don't care if you are the sunday school teacher I am here to tell you we want snack!" one---essentially she is a mini-me (to be fair Lyds, if you are reading this I was much much worse than you when I was your age--you can ask Grandma). I know that this assertive streak will ultimately be an asset to her and she will do well at whatever she puts her mind to but at times this assertiveness can test ones patience. Anyhow, we were talking and recounting the events of the day and we talked about some choices she had made at her gymnastics class. We talked about how she has shown improvement with her tantrums and crying but that she has to continue to work on these things especially now that she will be starting school soon. The thing that was impactful to me about our conversation was the window she gave me into her world--into the struggles that go on in her 5 year old mind about what she knows she should do or wants to do but what she ends up doing. She said to me "sometimes I just lose control even though I don't want to; I try and I try to not be mad but every little thing just makes me madder." I totally identified with that on a couple levels---I remember being her age and struggling with my anger and frustration in much of the same ways she does and now as an adult trying to raise 4 honest members of society that same struggle exists. I want to be patient and kind each time I have to pause what I am doing to tell Ben to get back into his room during nap time but sometimes--this might be a shocker here--sometimes I can talk harshly to him by the 10th time through this routine. I really want to be calm and to keep it together and to always treat my kids with respect, but despite my best intentions and sometimes even chanting the mantra 'patience, patience, patience' in my head I feel like I might explode when one more kid disturbs nap time, wakes the baby and the afternoon unravels. We talked about how as she gets older her brain 'grows' and matures and it makes it a little easier to make positive choices. We are also really trying to infuse faith into our conversations with our kids so I reminded her that the Bible tells us that we can ask God for help with anything--even our behavior. She said "I didn't know that" then paused for bit and said "I changed my mind, I want to pray tonight". I assumed she had opted out of bedtime prayer time with Ryan while I was gone. She went on and prayed and very candidly asked God to "help me to make good choices and to control myself and help my brain to grow very fast so it is easier". It was so sweet and a reminder that although I don't throw myself down and go into a full on tantrum any more (not often anyhow) the principle is the same--sometimes I say and do things that are against what I really want to be doing--what parents really wants to be impatient or rude to their child? It is just what happens when we are 'out of control' and Lydia, in her innocence and transparency, reminded me that I need to continue to be prayerful about my own decisions and actions on a daily basis. It was truly a precious time with my sweet daughter. Definitely one to savor.
Needless to say I felt I was due for a good parenting moment--one to savor, one for the parenting record books, one that makes all the other crazy ones worth it and I got it with my sweet Lydia tonight. We had our typical fun/chaotic dinner complete with ben taking a poop break in the middle and Lydia gagging on and nearly vomiting her broccoli--you know, standard weeknight dinner--then the typical bedtime rush and I was changing Jack with one hand and brushing teeth with the other--I am quite talented at multitasking I must say--then I handed the reins to Ryan for stories and bed while I rushed off to exercise class which I am almost embarrassed to admit that I adore and it keeps me sane in many ways. So, after my class as I was enjoying my shower I hear a tap, tap, tap on the shower door and it's little Lydia who can't sleep. Normally we are bedtime militants but in this instance I was happy to have a little one on one time with one of my munchkins (as you can imagine these times are rare with the stage we are in with our brood) so I cuddled up with Lydia in our bed for a little night chat. Let me give you some background on Miss Lydia Joy. She is my headstrong one, my assertive one, my I hate to lose or be last one, my "I don't care if you are the sunday school teacher I am here to tell you we want snack!" one---essentially she is a mini-me (to be fair Lyds, if you are reading this I was much much worse than you when I was your age--you can ask Grandma). I know that this assertive streak will ultimately be an asset to her and she will do well at whatever she puts her mind to but at times this assertiveness can test ones patience. Anyhow, we were talking and recounting the events of the day and we talked about some choices she had made at her gymnastics class. We talked about how she has shown improvement with her tantrums and crying but that she has to continue to work on these things especially now that she will be starting school soon. The thing that was impactful to me about our conversation was the window she gave me into her world--into the struggles that go on in her 5 year old mind about what she knows she should do or wants to do but what she ends up doing. She said to me "sometimes I just lose control even though I don't want to; I try and I try to not be mad but every little thing just makes me madder." I totally identified with that on a couple levels---I remember being her age and struggling with my anger and frustration in much of the same ways she does and now as an adult trying to raise 4 honest members of society that same struggle exists. I want to be patient and kind each time I have to pause what I am doing to tell Ben to get back into his room during nap time but sometimes--this might be a shocker here--sometimes I can talk harshly to him by the 10th time through this routine. I really want to be calm and to keep it together and to always treat my kids with respect, but despite my best intentions and sometimes even chanting the mantra 'patience, patience, patience' in my head I feel like I might explode when one more kid disturbs nap time, wakes the baby and the afternoon unravels. We talked about how as she gets older her brain 'grows' and matures and it makes it a little easier to make positive choices. We are also really trying to infuse faith into our conversations with our kids so I reminded her that the Bible tells us that we can ask God for help with anything--even our behavior. She said "I didn't know that" then paused for bit and said "I changed my mind, I want to pray tonight". I assumed she had opted out of bedtime prayer time with Ryan while I was gone. She went on and prayed and very candidly asked God to "help me to make good choices and to control myself and help my brain to grow very fast so it is easier". It was so sweet and a reminder that although I don't throw myself down and go into a full on tantrum any more (not often anyhow) the principle is the same--sometimes I say and do things that are against what I really want to be doing--what parents really wants to be impatient or rude to their child? It is just what happens when we are 'out of control' and Lydia, in her innocence and transparency, reminded me that I need to continue to be prayerful about my own decisions and actions on a daily basis. It was truly a precious time with my sweet daughter. Definitely one to savor.
