The Good
We finished a whole year of our homeschool co-op last week. The girls and I survived and even thrived. We actually really enjoyed it and have already signed up for next year. I feel like it's a big hurdle for this mom who would never ever have even considered homeschooling a year ago to say I completed a year of a homeschool co-op. So definitely the good for this week.
In preparation for Easter we dyed eggs and made cut out cookies. Again Battles children, let it be known your dear mother does these things for YOU not for me--it's definitely getting better though. I have honed my skill and technique with the egg dying process and the toddlers are rapidly turning into real and functional kids so it is less stressful on my OCD side and more enjoyable. The pics always depict a perfectly wonderful time but there aren't any sound bites of me shrieking "Ben, you're going to dump the red!" "Ben don't wipe your fingers on the white chair" "Don't touch mommy with that stuff on your hands!" and so on. Just being real here.
We recently re-experienced the conservatory and also saw the butterfly exhibit and loved it. We bought a membership when they were little and I never had the energy or motivation to drag babies and toddlers into a steamy greenhouse but we tried it again recently and really loved it. Lydia especially loved holding the butterflies and wanted to go back the very next day. Jack says 'butter-fly!' in just the cutest way ever and said it about 1,000 times with the same exuberance each and every time. Ben even tried his hand at holding a couple.
The Bad
So this story actually gets cataloged mostly under the bad and a little under the hilarious. We actually had a code adam called on Jack and had Costco--yes, giant Costco--on a Sunday no less--the Sunday before Easter--on lock down! I mean it was only for 5 minutes but how many people can say they were the cause of a Costco lock down even for a few minutes? Pretty impressive I'd say. When I share this fact--about Jack's recent code Adam--most people flutter their hands to their faces and ask in shock and horror "What did you do? Did you just lose it? How awful!" and I don't know whether to feel guilty or like a bad mom or what when I honestly say "Well it was a little bit scary, a little bit funny and a lot embarrassing".
So what happened? It started with 3 mistakes:
1. We went to Costco on a Sunday
2. We let Jack out of the cart. It was only for the last 20 foot stretch (Costco peeps--from the packaged snacks and nuts to the end of the check out-you know it well)
3. We made the classic mistake of thinking the other parent was watching him--and we let the goody girls (samplers) take us away from our A game honestly.
So Jack was out of the cart and between the sample of popcorn and the end of the ridiculous line (did I mention it was a Sunday?) we lost him. I don't know if he followed the wrong pair of legs or was lured in by the fresh flowers (the kid loves flowers!) but regardless we looked around and said to each other "Where's Jack?" Now we say this a lot about all of our kids at one time or another but usually spot their little jacket or tutu in a matter of seconds but this time we kept spinning and scanning and looking and there was nary a sign of that little dude. I typically don't panic if they are lost a little longer than usual unless a road or pond is nearby so I was calm and just kept my place in line and shooed Ryan off to look for Jack. A couple of minutes went by and I inched my giant cart and my three accounted for kids toward the front of the line and still no Jack. I saw a Costco man with a walkie talkie walking by and I calmly mentioned that we may have lost our 2 year old and that's when all heck broke loose.
Costco Guy into his walkie talkie: Code Adam, 2 year old boy. Shut down the doors. Ma'am, what was he wearing?
My thoughts: um, really, you need to go there right away? Code Adam?
Actual Heather: No coat, I mean red coat . . . No, I think Ryan put him in a puffy vest today. Yes, that's it, a green puffy vest
Costco man: what color pants?
My thoughts: Really? you think I can remember his pants? I was proud that I remembered he had the vest on!
Actual Heather: Um, jeans?
And so everyone who was waiting with their giant carts full of 10 lbs of basmati rice and a cake big enough for the country of Yemen had to wait to get their receipts checked (and a hand stamp if they're lucky) and leave and everyone who was hoping to get in for a sample of chicken pot pie from Lois and and buy their toilet paper for a year COULD NOT! There was no leaving and no getting in this Costco. Jack Battles had singlehandedly shut it down!
Am I panicking? No, because Costco is filled with families and international restaurant owners and older people looking for free samples--Jack was not likely in danger (unless you count the risk of being mowed down by a sumo sized cart.)
I was actually not sure what was socially appropriate. I had now made it to the front of the line and it was my turn to put my groceries on the conveyor belt but I was self conscious that the people behind me who now knew I had lost my 2 year old, were waiting for a good old fashioned mom screaming panic attack. Should I load my groceries so as not to hold up the line or should I step to the side and start the show of panicking? I didn't know what to do. Of course this whole time the other 3 are asking me rapid fire questions that certainly aren't helping the situation "Where's Jack?" "Why did you lose Jack?" Where is Daddy?" "Can I have cheese pizza and a smoothie?"
Just when I was debating about going to the bad place for show and loading my 3 pounds of baby spinach onto the belt, a Costco worker came strolling up the aisle with little Jack, happy as a clam in his puffy green vest (and Jeans too--I got it right!) holding the hand of a Costco worker. We never did find out how far into the depths of costco he made it.
Code Adam all clear!
Phew!
So, the crimson that had crept up to my cheeks gradually receded, we calmly checked out, clutching or little runner tightly, and I vowed never again to let him out of that baby seat until he's about 15.
The Hilarious
So, the above story definitely counts for the hilarious right? I mean if you are reading this you probably find it funny, especially since it wasn't you or your kid that shut down costco. :)
Ben also had a pretty good quote as I was trying to install batteries into his bubble blower: "Mom, you have to put the batteries in nipple first"
We finished a whole year of our homeschool co-op last week. The girls and I survived and even thrived. We actually really enjoyed it and have already signed up for next year. I feel like it's a big hurdle for this mom who would never ever have even considered homeschooling a year ago to say I completed a year of a homeschool co-op. So definitely the good for this week.
In preparation for Easter we dyed eggs and made cut out cookies. Again Battles children, let it be known your dear mother does these things for YOU not for me--it's definitely getting better though. I have honed my skill and technique with the egg dying process and the toddlers are rapidly turning into real and functional kids so it is less stressful on my OCD side and more enjoyable. The pics always depict a perfectly wonderful time but there aren't any sound bites of me shrieking "Ben, you're going to dump the red!" "Ben don't wipe your fingers on the white chair" "Don't touch mommy with that stuff on your hands!" and so on. Just being real here.
We recently re-experienced the conservatory and also saw the butterfly exhibit and loved it. We bought a membership when they were little and I never had the energy or motivation to drag babies and toddlers into a steamy greenhouse but we tried it again recently and really loved it. Lydia especially loved holding the butterflies and wanted to go back the very next day. Jack says 'butter-fly!' in just the cutest way ever and said it about 1,000 times with the same exuberance each and every time. Ben even tried his hand at holding a couple.
The Bad
So this story actually gets cataloged mostly under the bad and a little under the hilarious. We actually had a code adam called on Jack and had Costco--yes, giant Costco--on a Sunday no less--the Sunday before Easter--on lock down! I mean it was only for 5 minutes but how many people can say they were the cause of a Costco lock down even for a few minutes? Pretty impressive I'd say. When I share this fact--about Jack's recent code Adam--most people flutter their hands to their faces and ask in shock and horror "What did you do? Did you just lose it? How awful!" and I don't know whether to feel guilty or like a bad mom or what when I honestly say "Well it was a little bit scary, a little bit funny and a lot embarrassing".
So what happened? It started with 3 mistakes:
1. We went to Costco on a Sunday
2. We let Jack out of the cart. It was only for the last 20 foot stretch (Costco peeps--from the packaged snacks and nuts to the end of the check out-you know it well)
3. We made the classic mistake of thinking the other parent was watching him--and we let the goody girls (samplers) take us away from our A game honestly.
So Jack was out of the cart and between the sample of popcorn and the end of the ridiculous line (did I mention it was a Sunday?) we lost him. I don't know if he followed the wrong pair of legs or was lured in by the fresh flowers (the kid loves flowers!) but regardless we looked around and said to each other "Where's Jack?" Now we say this a lot about all of our kids at one time or another but usually spot their little jacket or tutu in a matter of seconds but this time we kept spinning and scanning and looking and there was nary a sign of that little dude. I typically don't panic if they are lost a little longer than usual unless a road or pond is nearby so I was calm and just kept my place in line and shooed Ryan off to look for Jack. A couple of minutes went by and I inched my giant cart and my three accounted for kids toward the front of the line and still no Jack. I saw a Costco man with a walkie talkie walking by and I calmly mentioned that we may have lost our 2 year old and that's when all heck broke loose.
Costco Guy into his walkie talkie: Code Adam, 2 year old boy. Shut down the doors. Ma'am, what was he wearing?
My thoughts: um, really, you need to go there right away? Code Adam?
Actual Heather: No coat, I mean red coat . . . No, I think Ryan put him in a puffy vest today. Yes, that's it, a green puffy vest
Costco man: what color pants?
My thoughts: Really? you think I can remember his pants? I was proud that I remembered he had the vest on!
Actual Heather: Um, jeans?
And so everyone who was waiting with their giant carts full of 10 lbs of basmati rice and a cake big enough for the country of Yemen had to wait to get their receipts checked (and a hand stamp if they're lucky) and leave and everyone who was hoping to get in for a sample of chicken pot pie from Lois and and buy their toilet paper for a year COULD NOT! There was no leaving and no getting in this Costco. Jack Battles had singlehandedly shut it down!
Am I panicking? No, because Costco is filled with families and international restaurant owners and older people looking for free samples--Jack was not likely in danger (unless you count the risk of being mowed down by a sumo sized cart.)
I was actually not sure what was socially appropriate. I had now made it to the front of the line and it was my turn to put my groceries on the conveyor belt but I was self conscious that the people behind me who now knew I had lost my 2 year old, were waiting for a good old fashioned mom screaming panic attack. Should I load my groceries so as not to hold up the line or should I step to the side and start the show of panicking? I didn't know what to do. Of course this whole time the other 3 are asking me rapid fire questions that certainly aren't helping the situation "Where's Jack?" "Why did you lose Jack?" Where is Daddy?" "Can I have cheese pizza and a smoothie?"
Just when I was debating about going to the bad place for show and loading my 3 pounds of baby spinach onto the belt, a Costco worker came strolling up the aisle with little Jack, happy as a clam in his puffy green vest (and Jeans too--I got it right!) holding the hand of a Costco worker. We never did find out how far into the depths of costco he made it.
Code Adam all clear!
Phew!
So, the crimson that had crept up to my cheeks gradually receded, we calmly checked out, clutching or little runner tightly, and I vowed never again to let him out of that baby seat until he's about 15.
The Hilarious
So, the above story definitely counts for the hilarious right? I mean if you are reading this you probably find it funny, especially since it wasn't you or your kid that shut down costco. :)
Ben also had a pretty good quote as I was trying to install batteries into his bubble blower: "Mom, you have to put the batteries in nipple first"
