Baby Ben is now 2 weeks old and life is starting to settle down a bit. One of the things that people have been asking us is how the twins are handling our new addition. We have been talking about 'baby Benson' for months, trying to get it into their two year old brains that they were going to have a little brother. They memorized that 'baby Benson is in mommy's tummy', but I honestly don't think they had any clue that he was indeed a real baby. I tried to be a good mom and prepare them--I got books about the topic from the library (by the way, those aren't as helpful as you'd think--in nearly every one there is something about hating the baby, even the family dogs weren't happy about the baby and wanted to bury it in the backyard. Granted they have redeeming endings, but do you think it's helpful to plant the idea of burying the baby in the backyard in my toddler's head?). I made them their own little photo books books about their transition from mommy's tummy through infanthood, and now as big toddlers. We bought gifts to give them 'from Benson'. I was unsure of what they might do when we brought a screaming, squirming infant into their lives (and into our little 1100 square foot home). I wasn't too worried about Grace because she is quite the nurturer. She will hold and rock her babies very gently while Lydia either yells 'no baby!' or shoves hers under the ottoman. She can be nurturing to her stuffed sneetch toy that she loves to pieces so that alone gave me hope--I guess with Lydia she will pick and choose who gets her TLC.
Well, their first look at him in the hospital was not as monumental as I thought it would be. They peeked at him while I showed them his little fingers and toes . . . their interest lasted all of about 10 seconds before they were over it and just wanted to play with our iphones and climb around the hospital room. So far so good I thought.
When we came home, it was sort of the same reaction. Sure, they wanted to be held whenever I was holding him, but they didn't have a ton of interest in him and they definitely did not show any tendency toward wanting to bury him in the backyard (what a relief).
Then the time came for them to be present for a feeding--we figured they had to see it sometime. So, first we talked all about it. Ryan even whipped out the word 'milk glands'. I thought that they would definitely be traumatized by this process. We explained how Ben drinks 'mommy's milk' and they drink cow's milk and where exactly the milk came from and we tried to use anatomically correct words--so if my kids point out where your nipples are I apologize in advance. After the long explanation, Grace pointed to my arm and said 'arm milk'? I think after our in depth explanation she thought any body part could produce milk. When the actual feeding occurred they showed a bit of interest but then were off doing their own thing. I have seen Grace trying to breastfeed her dolls though.
So, in general we have settled into our new life without major mishap yet. I do have to keep one arm free during feedings to deflect the toddler bodies flying by. They sort of respect him as much as one of our couch pillows, so I am still very cautious of those two sticky little toddlers (my showers either involve bringing baby into the bathroom in his bouncy seat or talking the twins into a fun 'girls shower' where all 3 of us pile in). But to their credit, every day they congenially say 'Hi Baby Benson!' and at night "Good night baby Benson!" and even give him the occasional kiss (on the top of his head only--don't want any of my pediatric friends to panic, I know RSV is rampant still). Sure, it's hard to share mommy and daddy, and I don't think it's a coincidence that in the last 2 weeks the terrible two's seem to have come into full bloom (which is another post entirely--I'm hoping to catch a classic moment on video) but they haven't gotten out a shovel yet to bury him in the backyard and Lydia hasn't yet tried to shove him under the ottoman--it's the little miracles to rejoice over :)
Well, their first look at him in the hospital was not as monumental as I thought it would be. They peeked at him while I showed them his little fingers and toes . . . their interest lasted all of about 10 seconds before they were over it and just wanted to play with our iphones and climb around the hospital room. So far so good I thought.
When we came home, it was sort of the same reaction. Sure, they wanted to be held whenever I was holding him, but they didn't have a ton of interest in him and they definitely did not show any tendency toward wanting to bury him in the backyard (what a relief).
Then the time came for them to be present for a feeding--we figured they had to see it sometime. So, first we talked all about it. Ryan even whipped out the word 'milk glands'. I thought that they would definitely be traumatized by this process. We explained how Ben drinks 'mommy's milk' and they drink cow's milk and where exactly the milk came from and we tried to use anatomically correct words--so if my kids point out where your nipples are I apologize in advance. After the long explanation, Grace pointed to my arm and said 'arm milk'? I think after our in depth explanation she thought any body part could produce milk. When the actual feeding occurred they showed a bit of interest but then were off doing their own thing. I have seen Grace trying to breastfeed her dolls though.
So, in general we have settled into our new life without major mishap yet. I do have to keep one arm free during feedings to deflect the toddler bodies flying by. They sort of respect him as much as one of our couch pillows, so I am still very cautious of those two sticky little toddlers (my showers either involve bringing baby into the bathroom in his bouncy seat or talking the twins into a fun 'girls shower' where all 3 of us pile in). But to their credit, every day they congenially say 'Hi Baby Benson!' and at night "Good night baby Benson!" and even give him the occasional kiss (on the top of his head only--don't want any of my pediatric friends to panic, I know RSV is rampant still). Sure, it's hard to share mommy and daddy, and I don't think it's a coincidence that in the last 2 weeks the terrible two's seem to have come into full bloom (which is another post entirely--I'm hoping to catch a classic moment on video) but they haven't gotten out a shovel yet to bury him in the backyard and Lydia hasn't yet tried to shove him under the ottoman--it's the little miracles to rejoice over :)
February 22, 2011 at 9:28 AM
You are too funny heather! i totally relate with your last post about how your c-section was a vacation! being in and out of the hospital while pregnant with our last baby and all the drama that brought, we started counting our ER trips as date nights...very expensive date nights, but still time together! after my c/s with him i really did not want to go home and lose a clean room with room service either! it sounds like you are doing well. benson and the girls are just so cute!
oh, and i totally agree with the library books being so NOT helpful! i actually complained to the librarian and asked that one of the books be taken out of circulation! it wasn't, to my disappointment.