It Began with a BBFT

I think its high time to do a 'week in review' post. This is my first but I'm thinking that it might make a regular appearance, who knows. The purpose is to record a few of the um . . . interesting things. .I mean, how am I going to remember what a typical week was like during this phase of my life if I don't write it down?

Monday: I used a sitter so that I could go to a couple of appointments.  I hate spending $ on a babysitter for appointments--I want to use a babysitter so that she can be 'mom' for a couple of hours while I take a time out at starbucks to preserve my sanity (coincidentally that is what I am doing currently, thanks Maggie!). So, it was especially disappointing to use a sitter for a periodontist appointment (translation: a dentist that specializes in torture involving the gums) AND an OB/Gyn appointment. I'll spare you the gory details of both but neither was pretty.

The twins had their first swimming lesson (I had to wait until they were past the mommy and me swim class age since it's 2 vs 1 with twins AND there was no way I was squeezing into a suit and singing nursery rhymes in cold water while trying to get them to put their faces in the water, that is what baths are for in the Battles house) which was adorable to watch. Kudos to all of those parents out there that have been doing swimming classes since infancy--it is a lot of preparation and clean up for 30 minutes of splashing (I now wear my knee high rainboots for the occasion--looks silly but all the other moms are totally jealous of my ingenuity as they get soaked trying to shower their little swimmers) but hey, they loved it so I'm happy to do it.

Tuesday: Not much notable other than the routine of our new life which at this point involves a uniform of workout pants (not for working out these days, more like a 'dressy' version of sweat pants), nursing tank tops and a zip up fleece (easy access and the 'dressy' version of a sweatshirt).  I can't remember exactly what the kids and I did during the day but we had good friends over for dinner so it felt like a small return to normalcy.

Wednesday: Ben got a haircut in the morning which is entertaining because he cried for most of it since he is scared of the clippers. He doesn't struggle, just sits there and cries as if his heart is breaking--it is super cute. He perked up with a hair covered sucker though so we're all good.

A routine tune up for our furnace revealed a cracked heat exchanger which apparently means that carbon monoxide has been leaking into our house (we only moved in about 4 months ago).  So the furnace inspection lady said to me 'Ma'am, this is not safe for anyone, especially young babies', as I am holding Ben who communicates in curious george speak at this point even though he is nearly two (I think because he is stubborn and not related aforementioned carbon monoxide). She then proceeds to shut off my furnace!!  This inspection took place right before nap (they gave me a window from like 8a-8p of course of when they might be here) and delayed the kids nap--so as she is trying to show me a video of the cracked heat exchanger (I'll take your word for it lady) they were already melting down. I tried to get a hold of Ryan to convey the tragedy and he was unreachable for a bit--and then I found out that he was having lunch at one of our favorite restaurants while I was in the foxhole of parenting with shrapnel exploding all around. So my jealousy, frustration and a generous sprinkling of sleep deprivation caused my voice to waver when Ryan finally called back. I think my exact words were: I've had no sleep, the kids are mutiny-ing, our furnace is leaking carbon monoxide and this lady just shut our heat off!!!'  He showed up at home an hour later.

Thursday: Due to the furnace debacle and the fact that we have a home warranty we had to have a second furnace inspection and a second evaluation for what kind of furnace we needed. So, again with the window of time (what the heck is with that?) and trying to juggle the kids while listening to the prognosis of our furnace from yet another person.

I went to my first hot yoga class. Thankfully it is a dark studio otherwise I may have been told that the prenatal yoga class is on another day and shouldn't I be at that one? It was pretty packed and the yogis on my left and right were pretty darn lucky that I didn't fall on them because I came close a few times. It was oddly therapeutic and truly soothed my psyche (my psyche apparently thrives on working out and organization--I have an odd psyche).

Friday; Lydia started the day with a meltdown over not waking up early enough to watch 'Martha Speaks' on PBS. She screamed so much that she was not allowed to watch any other pre-preschool TV.  She was sitting and snuffling in Ben's room and Grace, who could have already gone downstairs for her meeting with curious george, was trying to soothe Lydia by saying "I will always be here for  you, I won't leave you". Lydia was moaning "It's all my fault" and Grace's reply was "I will not leave you--it is your fault though that you can't watch TV--but I won't leave you". Adorable.  However, she did watch TV even though Lydia could not so her promise was short lived.

I was late to pickup the girls at preschool and Lydia was of course in tears by the time I arrived. I was late because I picked the worst line at Costco (seriously, who still writes CHECKS in a store?)Ben had a well timed stinky diaper and then the crowning blow was when the guy in front of me at the light was sitting about 10 feet behind the white line and wasn't tripping the light.  I was patient for THREE light cycles before I finally got out of my car, ran up to his window, rapped on it and with as much kindness as I could muster (OK, I wasn't kind but I didn't use any degrading names like I wanted to) asked him if he could move forward to trip the light. He said with great irritation "OK, I'll give it a whirl" and finally it worked--shocking mister.

Also, the twins were put on a mandatory 24 hour ban from opening doors due to persistent fights/tantrums/screaming over opening or closing doors (as I said in my last post and I will keep saying--kids, they are just DOORS!!!!).  Sounds like a weird punishment I know but was oddly effective.

Saturday: Did our usual Saturday morning routine of breakfast out as a family and then we hand out our old iOS devices to the children so mom and dad can actually converse over our second cup of coffee (judge away, but adult conversation is vital to our very survival).

Ryan's sister, her husband and their 4 amazing kids came to visit us for the afternoon. Ben decided this was a good time to do a little mischief under the radar. He dumped cups and cups of dog food into Bocce's crate where she had been quarantined during the chaos. Johnny, his 3 year old cousin, did not participate but supervised the project. When I finally found them Bocce was no longer eating but was laying on a pile of dog food. Ben however was still shoving fistfuls of dogfood in his mouth with sheer delight. Bocce's stomach was huge and tight as a drum. She could barely walk and was sentenced to the backyard for the remainder of the evening. She was too full to even bark.  In the morning Ryan found her in her crate surrounded by piles of undigested dog food and she moved slowly for a good 24 hours. Ben also had quite a few dirty diapers the following day but was otherwise no worse for the wear.

Sunday:  Ah, the Lord's day. Ryan wasn't feeling great so I took the kids to church (minus Jack who stayed home) to church. When I picked up Lydia and Grace from their class I was told that they got into a fight (over plastic play food) and Lydia ended up biting Grace and drawing blood!  Usually when Lydia does something extreme like that it is because Grace did something equally as extreme first that was not witnessed by the nearby supervising adult. Needless to say that was a little embarrassing.

And so wraps up a highlights of a typical week in the Battles household.





This was from the summer but depicts Benson's love for dog food.

This is more of a processing post--mainly for myself to put my thoughts into words and to remember what it was like because even the challenging times can be looked upon fondly once you are far enough away from them. It is not meant to be a complaining post but merely realistic, about the good and the, uh, challenges. --and maybe some other mom or even my own daughters down the line when they are mothering toddlers will identify with my "conundrum" and feel a little bit better.

We made a choice to wait a few years to start our family. I was in medical school and then residency and also we just wanted to travel and have the freedom that you have without kids (although I never fully appreciated it at the time). We also made a choice to have several children into a short span of time--4 in 4 years. So, now with sweet new little Jack, we have two 4 year olds, a 22 month old and a newborn. Needless to say it has its challenges (I hope to chronicle a typical 'day in the life' sometime here soon complete with pics and quotes). My conundrum, is that I want so much to enjoy every minute of raising my children--but not every minute is enjoyable--that is the challenge of parenting in general.   This is the realistic part here, not the complaining part: it is not enjoyable to have a child repeat a phrase 10 times until you are able to give some sort of a response, it is not enjoyable to deal with a full force tantrum no matter where you are, it is not enjoyable to have 4 crying at once about various trivialities, it is not enjoyable break up fights about whose turn it is to open a door (I had no idea that doors were the #1 cause of tears and tantrums between the ages of 2-4--at least in our household. It's just a door kids--you have your whole life to open them!). As a parent you can feel pulled in so many different directions all at one time--which do you tackle first, the child who is standing in pool of their own urine, the screaming and hungry newborn or the toddler that is now standing on the computer keyboard doing a jig? The rub is here is that I know that time is marching forward and these little muchkins that crawl into my bed at all hours will be sullen teenagers in the blink of an eye. I cannot tell you the number of people who have stopped us to say 'enjoy it now because it goes so fast'. It seems like a cliche phrase but I wholeheartedly believe it. It doesn't feel fast at times, like between the hours of 3 and 6 when I am listening with every fiber of my being for the garage door to open and Ryan to walk in--reinforcements are always a relief!  It is honestly a big struggle. I so want to enjoy every second but I also find myself counting to 10 to not say something rude to my child or having to lay in bed at night and pray about the bad attitude I had that day towards my kids at times. It can be such a back and forth of emotions. I want to be able to say that I heeded the advice of the costco sample ladies and 'enjoyed every minute' but some minutes are hard to revel in.   Despite all of the challenges of this phase, it is heavy laden with amazingness--for lack of a better word. In one day I get to cuddle a newborn during the quietness of night, have 4 year old twins bound into my room at the stroke of 7:30, wanting endless 'cuddle time' and have a 2 year old reach out for from his crib with a morning smile. Who gets to do that? The temporal nature of this stage is both encouraging and sad all at the same time. This is the 'hero stage' where mom and dad are the best ever and can heal any wound and solve any problem. Although getting up in the night is not fun, I love the idea that they are coming to me for comfort, for solace, because I am their mom. I remember the feeling of all being right with the world when I was with my mom and I love the fact that hopefully that is how my munchkins feel with me. It is an amazing privilege and one that I am thankful for on a daily basis but also at times have a hard time being thankful for--hence the conundrum that I am trying to process here. So, Lydia and Grace, if you are reading this while sitting at starbucks because Grandma B is watching the kids so you can get out of the house for a little bit (I am going to be that awesome of a grandma), remember when your little one is tantruming (we have strong tantrum genes) to count to 10 and then soak up the positives--the cuddle time after the tantrum storm has passed-when you toddler is sniffing and hiccuping from so much crying but only wants to be held by her mom (that was screaming at her just minutes before to stop this by the count of 3!!!)  That's the amazing part. I think that is the part that the well meaning Costco ladies are referring to.

This past fall the girls turned 4. I was pretty darn pregnant with Jack, we just finished a big move and the weather was still quite warm--so what did we decide to do?  Naturally, we loaded up the fam and took a trip to Disney World. Well, that is not entirely true. My mom was kind enough to take Benson (sorry Ben if you feel left out if you ever read this but when you have an 18 month old son you will understand) so it was just Ryan, myself, the twins and fetus Jack came along for the ride.

 It all started when Disney was brought up at work. I, being the super practical person that I am, informed my coworkers that we were going to wait until all the kids were old enough to fully appreciate Disney. They quickly informed me much to my dismay that I could miss the 'magical window' that the girls were in--the window where they are enamored with princesses and all things that make Disney so magical. The wheels started turning and by the end of the shift I was looking up flights to Orland to take a 4 day weekend trip to Disney to commemorate the girls 4th birthday and to have one last hurrah before the baby arrived (again, I'm sorry Ben but after our last flight with you as a one year old whirling dervish on a 2 hour flight I vowed never to fly with you again until you were at least of double digit age).

We decided to make it a surprise. We had to get up early to get to the airport and by the time we arrived they were tired and out of sorts so our 'reveal' video is definitely not material for a Disney commercial.  We arranged to stay in a hotel that has a little mermaid themed room (commence eye rolling) and I think they loved that the most--combined with the finding nemo themed pool of course.

We did the Magic Kingdom on one day and Disney Hollywood Studio the next day.  I don't know why I thought September in Florida would make for a lovely fall trip--it was stinking hot! I got many sympathetic looks as I waddled around the park. The girls were a little wilted as well and at times I would look at them and think they were hating us for putting them through this Disney experience. When we came back from a break at the hotel Lydia got off the bus, looked around and said "Not the magic kingdom--it's so hot!" The real magic though was when they had a chance to meet the princesses--the looks on their faces when they met their infamous princesses was priceless and they haven't stopped talking about it since (although I do hope they acquire better role models than giant doe eyed size 0 twigs with generous breasts that only wear dresses and little high heels)

Just a side note that Disney is one of the greatest places to people watch. There are people of ALL kinds--and I have never seen more glittered and glammed up little girls in flouncy princess dresses in all my life. We did the cheap version of this--we brought chintzy costco versions of princess dresses and they proudly paraded around in those. All in all it was a very memorable trip. Maybe we'll have to do it again soon, ditching Jack this time and trying it with 3 enamored preschoolers.