**Warning, for those of you who know me well this rant is not new and you may want to skip it--it's just my way of processing as I like to tell Ryan**
I had about a 6 month streak going without anyone asking "are you pregnant?" and today it was broken--at the gym--when I was in my sleekest workout gear and heading to my spinning class. It was nice while it lasted I guess. So this is more of a ranting post and an educational post for those of you who are doing the asking. When the girls were first born it was pretty understandable that people might've thought I was pregnant--it's tough to bounce back from that I'll be honest. At the beginning I'd smile and tell them that I have newborn twins at home which would help to squelch some of their embarrassment and just the general awkwardness of the situation. However, as the twins got older and older it got harder and harder to smile and work through the awkwardness. Usually it goes like this--I see the person's eyes bouncing down to my midriff and then they get a little twinkle in their eyes and they lean forward and say with supreme confidence "are you pregnant?" As soon as I say "no I have twins" that is when the embarrassing pauses and hems/haws start, then they eventually collect themselves and try to smooth things over by saying "oh, you had twins--but you look so good for having twins! (too late for compliments now buddy!). I am not necessarily a woman of low self esteem but this really started to get old. I tried telling myself that it's a compliment--that if they just thought I was fat then they wouldn't be asking anything at all, so clearly they have deduced that--no this woman is not fat so that bump in her middle must represent a baby.
Here's the education part . . . this is very important . . . DON'T ASK THAT QUESTION TO ANYONE! unless there is a foot coming out or the person appears to be in labor and might need your assistance--DO NOT ASK IT. The outcome is just not good for everyone involved. Here's a visual lesson with pics.
In this case you can ask. Clearly pregnant and the hospital gown should give you an extra boost of confidence.
Not appropriate to ask. Abdominal flaws does not = pregnant.
Most women look forward to having another child so that they can again cuddle a sweet little newborn, but I when we decide to start jump back into this pregnancy thing again I will be so excited to say, 'why yes, I am pregnant'--and I'll get rid of any constricting underthings (even with those I get asked) and just let it all hang out even if it's minutes after the test turned positive.
And here's why it's all worth it in the end and if I did not have a shallow or vain component to my nature (which I definitely do) I'd say that I wouldn't change any of it, but 5 minutes after I eek out that last kid you better believe I'm going to be on the phone with the best plastic surgeon in town making my appointment!
I had about a 6 month streak going without anyone asking "are you pregnant?" and today it was broken--at the gym--when I was in my sleekest workout gear and heading to my spinning class. It was nice while it lasted I guess. So this is more of a ranting post and an educational post for those of you who are doing the asking. When the girls were first born it was pretty understandable that people might've thought I was pregnant--it's tough to bounce back from that I'll be honest. At the beginning I'd smile and tell them that I have newborn twins at home which would help to squelch some of their embarrassment and just the general awkwardness of the situation. However, as the twins got older and older it got harder and harder to smile and work through the awkwardness. Usually it goes like this--I see the person's eyes bouncing down to my midriff and then they get a little twinkle in their eyes and they lean forward and say with supreme confidence "are you pregnant?" As soon as I say "no I have twins" that is when the embarrassing pauses and hems/haws start, then they eventually collect themselves and try to smooth things over by saying "oh, you had twins--but you look so good for having twins! (too late for compliments now buddy!). I am not necessarily a woman of low self esteem but this really started to get old. I tried telling myself that it's a compliment--that if they just thought I was fat then they wouldn't be asking anything at all, so clearly they have deduced that--no this woman is not fat so that bump in her middle must represent a baby.
Here's the education part . . . this is very important . . . DON'T ASK THAT QUESTION TO ANYONE! unless there is a foot coming out or the person appears to be in labor and might need your assistance--DO NOT ASK IT. The outcome is just not good for everyone involved. Here's a visual lesson with pics.
Most women look forward to having another child so that they can again cuddle a sweet little newborn, but I when we decide to start jump back into this pregnancy thing again I will be so excited to say, 'why yes, I am pregnant'--and I'll get rid of any constricting underthings (even with those I get asked) and just let it all hang out even if it's minutes after the test turned positive.
And here's why it's all worth it in the end and if I did not have a shallow or vain component to my nature (which I definitely do) I'd say that I wouldn't change any of it, but 5 minutes after I eek out that last kid you better believe I'm going to be on the phone with the best plastic surgeon in town making my appointment!
May 6, 2010 at 9:37 PM
Oh my goodness I love it!!! This happens to me too and I get so annoyed. Someone at work said to me, "are you pregnant?" and I said, "No, but please tell me why you think so?" and she said, "because your cheeks are so chubby." I thought I was going to rip her face off!
I love the pictures! You are so funny!
May 8, 2010 at 12:35 AM
I had someone ask me if I had Lincoln yet a few weeks ago. You would think that women who had babies would not ask such questions..especially when they are carrying "baggage".