It Began with a BBFT

So, the twins are possibly coming home today. Lydia is ready for sure. She passed her carseat test with flying colors (they have to sit in the carseat for 1 hour and maintain normal vital signs) and is eating like a champ both from the bottle and the real deal. Grace decided she didn't want to be left all alone in the NICU and really stepped up to the plate yesterday. However, she failed her carseat test twice but apparently they still might send her--one of us would just have to sit in the backseat and watch her to make sure she doesn't turn blue :). We didn't think they'd be home until the end of the week so it was a surprise when they said--o.k., Tuesday is the day. So, last night was our last night without any kids at home--life will definitely be changing in a big way. I'm nervous about only getting sleep in 2 hour increments for the next weeks-months, but also excited to have the girls around 24/7. Ryan went around last night setting up baby toys and swings which our 3 month old nephew Charlie eagerly tried out for us. He is running last minute errands right now including car shopping as we need a large vehicle for 2 girls 2 adults and 2 dogs. Our posts will likely become less frequent once we get into the thick of this newborn parenting stuff, but we'll try.

Yesterday we made two visits to the NICU: our usual daytime visit and then an impromptu late night visit b/c we missed them. They've been letting us unhook one or both of the babies from their monitor briefly so the whole family can relax in one room. Ryan and I each were holding a twin late last night in our respective rocking chairs and it was great to be a little family--it felt almost normal.
We are also working on buying a car for our expanded family. Ryan drives a nice sized car (impala) that will easily hold two babies in their carseats, but since we also have our two boston terriers we need something that doesn't involve putting the dogs in the trunk . We made another visit to the dreaded babies R us to buy some essentials, including our two carseats (the ones they'll graduate to after they grow out of the infant carrier seats). We went round and round the store withour car overflowing and since I look about 5 months pregnant people probably thought we were going a little overborad a little too early :). The girls are slowly improving on their feeds. Little Lydia is ahead of her chubbier sister and will likely go home first (this is common with twins in the NICU)--maybe even before next weekend. We've been giving Grace pep talks to promote a little healthy sibling rivalry, but she seems to be o.k. with her older sister (by two minutes) taking the lead. The pics: (Top to bottom) Grace getting her bath, Lydia looking overwhelmed at feat of taking the entire bottle, me with the girls at our late night visit.

Wish my entries were as thought provoking as Ryan's, but I'll continue to play the role of updater. Maybe I'll work my way to becoming deep on my blog--I'm new to the blogging world. I am at the NICU taking a break while the girls nap. They stick to their every three hour feeding schedule that the NICU sets up perfectly, but I'm sure as soon as we enter our house they'll wake up to the world and find their lungs :). Today they both had baths--one by the nurse and one by mom once I learned the official technique. Still working on feeds--that's about it. They are both keeping their temps up without problems. Our updates are going to be 'working on feeds, working on feeds, working on feeds' which is typical of the last few days of a NICU course. So, we might be home in a week, we'll see. It's totally up to the babies. We were saying to each other that it feels like we are in a school project where you are in an intense parenting class during the day and then we come home to our old life with just the dogs in the evenings.

People often ask me what it is that I do. I suppose I could answer that in a number of ways: a student, a freelancer, a part-time IT specialist, or a stay at home dad. The latter of these didn't quite work until last Wednesday, before the kids were born. Even now, as they are in this world, I'm not really a stay-at-home dad, because they are getting 24 hour care at the NICU.

It has been a challenge to really define who I am going to become in these next few months. We are often categorized by what we do, and if we don't work, by the reason we aren't working. I have a family member that always introduces Heather as "Heather, she's a doctor." That must make me Ryan Shezadokter. So I wonder what it is that I will be defined as in the coming months (or years perhaps).

I think I know. After spending time with these twins in the NICU, I realize that there is nothing I would love to do more than spend every waking minute with them (between the hours of 9AM and 9PM, they can sleep the rest). I know that there are diapers and fussyness and sickness. Those times will be trying, but I am so in love with these two peapods called babies, that I want to quit working for a while and spend time raising them.

This decision was not easy, as just today I had to tell a business associate that I couldn't take on more freelance work. I LOVE freelance work. I love getting paid to work out of my basement in my comfort clothes with music blaring. I would love to build a business off of that type of work. The weird thing is, it is all too possible for me to do that. I am actually saying "no" to people who are offering me work.

It has been strange to transition to this new role. Something within me tells me to make a lucrative salary and own my own business. I am beginning to see that this voice within me is pride. Heather and I have our needs met, and we have these three blessings called Grace, Lydia, and a happy marriage. I think I'm going to be just fine putting those three before that voice in me called pride. That way Heather can continue her training, the twins will be able to grow up with their daddy around, and I may even manage to clean a dish or two while they take a nap (assuming they sleep in tandem).

I camped out at the NICU today from 10-7 thinking I would read and catch up on other things while I sat next to the babies. However, I had lots of other fun things that came up--such as putting the twins together for a mini family photo shoot--our first time as a little family of 4 (6 if you count the dogs). Our nurses have been doing a great job of keeping us involved. I changed several diapers today, gave 2 bottles, dressed Lydia (for the first time!) and re-did ryan's first swaddle attempt. I also got to kangaroo them which is a cutesy term for skin-to-skin time. Plus the ever present pumping in order to feed these little monsters. No major developments today really. They did stop monitoring their oxygen saturation which is one less cord. Lydia is up to 4 of 8 feeds by bottle and Grace is at 3. They are trying them out from under the warmer again (called trying an 'open crib') to see if they can maintain their temperature (this is their second attempt at that). We had a lot of fun with them in the same room. JR visited today as well as Deb Taylor (2 visits actually so she gets double bonus points). My mom gets recognition for doing tons of laundry yesterday, ironing shirts and even emptying my bathroom trashcan during her visit. Amy was able to make it too and give our dogs some much needed attention.

The twins had yet to have a photo together and I was looking forward to the chance to do that soon. However, when we got to the hospital there was a sign hanging from each of their IV poles with two pictures of them snuggled up side by side. It made my day! They both had their giant green pacifiers in their mouths (probably to keep them content during the photo shoot) and their new knit hats from our neighbor. They both progressed on their feeds today and took two bottles on their own (not down their tubes). Ryan tried his hand at giving Lydia a bottle and also learned the art of swaddling. Every day is like baby boot camp:).

It was nice to sleep in my own bed last night although it was nice to have a bed that went up and down. It was hard to leave the girls last night, but we know they're in good hands. Last night getting home was a little rough since I'm limited and can't stand that, but I just have to ignore the little projects that were left hanging when the girls decided to arrive early. I got to hold Lydia today for 2 hours between feedings. I just sat in an armchair and read a book while I held her. They both were able to attempt nursing but since they're premies they just don't exactly know what they are doing. Lydia finished an entire bottle on her own (they've been getting most of their feeds through a tube) which is a big milestone. Grace is just one step behind her sister in the feeding department but is coming along just fine. Ryan changed his first diapers today--the nurse gave him a crash course in diapering and he was off to the races. We took pictures to comemmorate the event. I must add that they weren't dirty ones so he still has to learn how to handle those.

Tonight we are going home from the hospital. The past three days have been rather unexpected, but I wouldn't say that they've been a whirlwind. Surprisingly, we've had some time to relax. I feel that it has been the perfect blend of couple-time, friend-time, baby-time, and alone-time. Although it is very expensive, the NICU (newborn intensive care unit) has been a blessing. The twins are kept on a rigorous care and feeding schedule (bonus for us when we take them home), they are taken care of while Heather rests and tries to heal her cesarean battle wounds, and they are only two flights down an elevator to go visit whenever we want.

For the next two weeks (more or less), they will remain here, while we head home. Heather still has a little ways to go on her recovery, but she's walking for short periods and making progress everyday. I have a feeling that in a couple of days, I'll have to force her to relax, as she always tries to stay productive.

Stay tuned for more updates on the twins, and our new family adjustments.

Grace came off of CPAP later on the same day that Lydia came off of it. Both are breathing great in room air. They have been going slowly with their feeds which is typical for premies. Lydia looks like she will be our 'spitter-upper' as she is taking the longest to progress on feeds. They both tried their first bottles yesterday and they didn't know quite what to do with it but they have time to work on it. Grace loves her pacifier so hopefully a bottle won't be far behind for her. They have been advancing their feeds a little every day and tomorrow they will hopefully have their IVs taken out because they will not need their IV nutrition anymore. They tried them both in an 'open crib' which means that they turned off the warmer and dressed/bundled them in the real world to see if they could maintain their own temperature. Grace is still our little bundled burrito but Lydia went back under the warmer after about 12 hours. Again, normal premie stuff. Ryan's 30th birthday was yesterday and he spent it holding the girls and hanging out with visitors (Sarah, Carol, Mas, Wendy and Jay). The girls' nurse made Ryan a card from the girls complete with a picture of each one of them.

Today Lydia proved to the world that she could breathe on her own without the annoying CPAP prongs up her nose. She was taken off of CPAP early this morning. Her next task is to prove that she can eat well and keep her temperature and other vital signs stable on her own. Grace isn't far behind her sister. She is on the lowest setting of CPAP and might come off sometime today or tomorrow.

I'm improving as expected. I took a walk down the hall as my big activity of the day and of course trips to the NICU to hold the girls. Ryan has proven to be quite a good nurse and takes care of me in any way that he can.

I started to have worsening braxton hicks contractions early in the morning of the 17th. They improved somewhat in the morning so I went to work but was quickly shooed off to my OB by the other docs there:). so, to make a long story short they were real contractions and I had also dilated and effaced a good bit. Since Lydia was sitting over the exit and Grace was sprawled out horizontally our doctor arranged for a C-section later that afternoon. The c-section went well and turned into a social gathering with a friend of ours (Jason, an OB resident) doing the surgery with our usual doctor and a fellow 3rd year Peds Resident friend helping with the girls' transition to the world. They both came out crying and breathing on their own, but needed a little help to keep their lungs inflated with CPAP (the funny looking thing that's plugging up Lydia's nose in most pictures). Grace decided she wanted to spice things up a bit and required an elective intubation (tube down her windpipe) to get some medication (surfactant) in her lungs to help mature them a little faster. She will most likely get the tube out today and will have the same stylish nasal CPAP prongs that her sister is sporting. They are receiving nutrition through their veins and will start getting fed via a tube into their bellies today as well. They'll allow them to attempt to breast or bottle feed once they are off of the CPAP (hopefully in a couple of days). We're both pleased with how well they are doing given their prematurity--Ryan says "I'll panic when you panic Heather" and so far we're not panicking :).

Babies' Stats:
They were officially born at 34 weeks and 3 days.
Lydia (formerly Baby A) was born first and Grace (formerly baby B) was second.
Lydia was 4 pounds 10 ounces and Grace was 5 pounds 6 ounces

They'll need to be in the NICU for 1-3 weeks likely so we'll keep you posted!