People often ask me what it is that I do. I suppose I could answer that in a number of ways: a student, a freelancer, a part-time IT specialist, or a stay at home dad. The latter of these didn't quite work until last Wednesday, before the kids were born. Even now, as they are in this world, I'm not really a stay-at-home dad, because they are getting 24 hour care at the NICU.
It has been a challenge to really define who I am going to become in these next few months. We are often categorized by what we do, and if we don't work, by the reason we aren't working. I have a family member that always introduces Heather as "Heather, she's a doctor." That must make me Ryan Shezadokter. So I wonder what it is that I will be defined as in the coming months (or years perhaps).
I think I know. After spending time with these twins in the NICU, I realize that there is nothing I would love to do more than spend every waking minute with them (between the hours of 9AM and 9PM, they can sleep the rest). I know that there are diapers and fussyness and sickness. Those times will be trying, but I am so in love with these two peapods called babies, that I want to quit working for a while and spend time raising them.
This decision was not easy, as just today I had to tell a business associate that I couldn't take on more freelance work. I LOVE freelance work. I love getting paid to work out of my basement in my comfort clothes with music blaring. I would love to build a business off of that type of work. The weird thing is, it is all too possible for me to do that. I am actually saying "no" to people who are offering me work.
It has been strange to transition to this new role. Something within me tells me to make a lucrative salary and own my own business. I am beginning to see that this voice within me is pride. Heather and I have our needs met, and we have these three blessings called Grace, Lydia, and a happy marriage. I think I'm going to be just fine putting those three before that voice in me called pride. That way Heather can continue her training, the twins will be able to grow up with their daddy around, and I may even manage to clean a dish or two while they take a nap (assuming they sleep in tandem).
It has been a challenge to really define who I am going to become in these next few months. We are often categorized by what we do, and if we don't work, by the reason we aren't working. I have a family member that always introduces Heather as "Heather, she's a doctor." That must make me Ryan Shezadokter. So I wonder what it is that I will be defined as in the coming months (or years perhaps).
I think I know. After spending time with these twins in the NICU, I realize that there is nothing I would love to do more than spend every waking minute with them (between the hours of 9AM and 9PM, they can sleep the rest). I know that there are diapers and fussyness and sickness. Those times will be trying, but I am so in love with these two peapods called babies, that I want to quit working for a while and spend time raising them.
This decision was not easy, as just today I had to tell a business associate that I couldn't take on more freelance work. I LOVE freelance work. I love getting paid to work out of my basement in my comfort clothes with music blaring. I would love to build a business off of that type of work. The weird thing is, it is all too possible for me to do that. I am actually saying "no" to people who are offering me work.
It has been strange to transition to this new role. Something within me tells me to make a lucrative salary and own my own business. I am beginning to see that this voice within me is pride. Heather and I have our needs met, and we have these three blessings called Grace, Lydia, and a happy marriage. I think I'm going to be just fine putting those three before that voice in me called pride. That way Heather can continue her training, the twins will be able to grow up with their daddy around, and I may even manage to clean a dish or two while they take a nap (assuming they sleep in tandem).
September 28, 2008 at 2:24 PM
There will be times you want to rip your scalp off (sorry you don't really have hair to pull out), but when they smile or nuzzle against you it is the best! Norah gives great big hugs now and she slightly makes out with your cheek too!!! We love it! We are so excited for your real normal life to begin with the twins at home!!!